So having returned from Provence and the Ventoux challenge I thought that life would return to relative normality and so it has.
With one exception.
I have woken up very early for the last three mornings in a cold sweat having dreamt about my day on Mont Ventoux. Now, whilst I appreciate that we all dream in our sleep, I very very very rarely remember my dreams, so to have this recurring for the last three nights is a slight cause of concern in my head. Just to clarify, the dream I have had is not me achieving the challenge, nor is it me plummeting over the edge of the mountain on a descent. The dream is basically a replay in very slow motion of my last two kilometres of the climb, from when I realised that I was in trouble to when I sheepishly collapsed in the back of the car putting a towel over my head trying to hide from the world outside.
I’m a rational person. I know that dreams basically are a measure of where your head is. They just mean that your mind is busier than your body at a certain point in time. So whilst I don’t need help (some would argue), I clearly have to work out how to shut down the whole Ventoux issue.
There is an obvious option. The option to “kill off” giantonthegiant. To stop posting on the blog, to shut down the site, to shut down the Twitter account, the email address, to never venture near that mountain or the Alps generally, ever again.
But I don’t think that this option will deliver the required results. I’m thinking about the Ventoux every day. When I say every day, I mean every day and more than once a day. It’s more or less in my mind constantly. These thoughts are not related to me analysing the climbs or where it went wrong or questioning whether I could have done more. It is more of a presence. The Ventoux just sits there like an annoying wasp flying around me constantly, so I guess it’s no surprise that my sleep patterns are being influenced because I just can’t shut it out. Killing the giant isn’t going to swat the wasp is it?
Another option is to give it some more time, let time work its magic, like it does with most other issues.
Then there is the option of keeping going, of setting myself some new challenges or targets, maybe targets that are more achievable but will work towards ensuring that my restored love of cycling continues, in the hope that I shall remember 2013 as the year that I cycled up Mont Ventoux as opposed to being the year that I didn’t cycle up Mont Ventoux three times in a day.
I don’t know what these challenges or targets are going to be but let’s see if a different focus will end the dreams before they become nightmares.
On an aside my JustGiving page is closing down in seven days so if you haven’t donated and would like to please go to http://www.justgiving.com/NICFCgiantonthegiant
And as Paul Valery said, “The best way to make your dreams come true is to wake up”.
An awake Giant
Today is the day folks.
giantonthegiant 